I'm a mathematically illogical student and never a science freak. I go gaga when I first picked up the 'wrong' things in school; doodling, sketching, scribbling, photography and filmmaking. Miraculously, they've done me good! Being green, I'm exploring any chances that comes my way and hope to create a style of my own.
reach out my hand, i feel you holding it. i tried pulling you up, you said you'll manage. i hold on, stronger. i told myself you're still there but i know you're long gone.
so much of hoping, i realised that it takes 2 hands to clap. mine's burning but i don't know about yours. soon, it will die off; slowly, silently, flickering, unnoticed.
We're different but we worked things out. We share, learn and express ourselves. Unhappy, argue, promise. Understand, compromise, flexible. HOPE separates us; a world apart. There some nights I've made it through but others seem endless.
I'm watching you from a far and I'm waiting. Waiting for you to come back to me...
Now, I'm like a stranger living in a beautiful world. Able to see, hear, touch and feel the simple things in life. A smile etches on my face seeing people around me and the places I go. I've realised how beautiful this world is.
A photo speaks for itself. A photo has a story to tell. A photo is a memory captured to remind us of the past. My camera. It's just me and her now. A get away from the past. It used to be the 3 of us but it's all memories now. Every click of the shutter, reminds me of the time we spend together. It's the only thing that I have now and I treasure it a lot.
There's a thin line that separates the impossible and possible, the fact and the fiction, reality and fantasy. And that thin, slim line is HOPE. When there's hope, there's a possiblity. A possibility for things to work out. I'm keeping that glimpse of hope alive, as I can't tell the future. Are you?
"I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go. Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end. I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me. But still I have to say I would do it all again. Just want you to know that since I lost you, I lost myself. No I can't fake it, there's no one else."
- BackstreetBoys, Just Want You to Know. Album: Never Gone
The day when reality smacked me hard on the face and all hopes lost and the willingness to carry on dies. I admitted defeat, a defeat before the long battle started. It was a mistake that I took the blame for.
“Was I being too ambitious?”
“Was I cheating myself all this while?”
The possibility so slim but I held on.
“Or was there no possibility at all?”
I once believed that nothing is impossible and I still believe in it now. Nothing can heal this wound of mine so deep. You left a deep impression on me. Maybe time will tell. Never do I lose faith in God and I pray hard that He’ll show me the Way. May He re-unite us back because my love for you is so true.
I just want to say, “I still love you the same and I feel you in my heart.”
Yours truly, Zainul.
Written at: Blk 775 Pasir Ris St 71 Date: 11/10/06 Time: 0010 hours